


Quality of Mercy

by idrilhadhafang



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Badass Kylo Ren, Badass Poe Dameron, Canon Compliant, Conflicted Kylo Ren, Crash Landing, Enemy Mine - Freeform, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, M/M, Past Torture, Pre-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Protective Kylo Ren, Stranded
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:41:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23957848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: After a dogfight, Poe and Kylo have to work together to survive.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Kylo Ren
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17
Collections: Trope Bingo: Round Fourteen





	Quality of Mercy

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Rivals Working Together
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing.
> 
> Author’s Notes: Because goddamn, Poe Dameron deserved better...

Of all the things that Poe expected, crashlanding on a planet with Kylo Ren after a dogfight wasn’t one of them. Or, for that matter, waking up to Kylo healing his injuries.   
  
Poe supposed he should be grateful. Supposed. Even though the memory of the _Finalizer_ seemed lodged in there...  
  
And then there was the infuriating thing. Having to actually cooperate with this monster to get off the planet. A monster that he had mixed feelings for, at the very mildest.   
  
“Fine,” Poe snapped. “I’ll be your pawn. I just need one thing in return.”  
  
Kylo raised an eyebrow. Poe could tell that he was still trying and failing to keep himself together.   
  
“Tell me why you hurt me,” Poe said. “Tell me why you left a family who loved you, who gave a damn about you. Why you left a friend who...gave a damn about you.” Thank the stars that at least Poe didn’t say what he really meant.   
  
Thank the stars he’d been practicing techniques to keep Kylo out of his head.   
  
_Count the planets, one by one..._  
  
“They must have given a damn about me greatly,” Kylo said viciously, “Considering that General Organa was all too willing to replace me with you.”  
  
 _“What?”_ Poe couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “That’s — that just — she never mentioned _anything_ like that!”  
  
Kylo tilted his head. “You seem sincere enough,” he said.   
  
“Damn right,” Poe said. “I don’t know if you’re trying to kriff with my head or if Snoke told you that, but you’re either mistaken or lying.” A beat. “And it was your fault you got in this situation in the first place!”  
  
The moment he said it, he felt terrible, but he was angry enough that he needed to say _something_ to hurt Kylo.   
  
Probably a bit too well, Poe thought. Kylo actually stiffened, going too still. Then, too quiet, especially for Kylo, “You don’t know anything about me, _General_ Dameron.”  
  
They didn’t talk even as they retired to their tents. Poe supposed he should have been satisfied with the jab he got in at Kylo. He tried to picture it, a man who had parents and an uncle who loved him, who likely turned to the Dark Side out of ingratitude.   
  
But he couldn’t help but think of something else. A young man, confiding in Poe that he didn’t feel good enough. Someone who had used the Force to heal him, risking his life span, over comparatively minor injuries that Ushar had given him.   
  
Someone who had been there for him after Poe’s mother’s death.   
  
Someone who had been there. It would have been easy if Ben had been a monster from the beginning. Or a stranger. Poe couldn’t help but be angry, but hate?   
  
He couldn’t hate Ben. Then again, Poe hated very few people (some would say he hated Holdo, but that was wrong. He had been frustrated with her, afraid everyone was going to die, but never hated her). Poe liked to give people the benefit of the doubt.  
  
But even if he was more hateful, Ben was too important to him to really hate.   
  
“Stars,” Poe muttered, “I wish he was a stranger.”  
  
He lay on the ground of the tent, already feeling exhausted for the first time in a long while.   
  
***  
  
Poe was woken up by a series of shouted Alderaanian curses and a slash of a lightsaber. Poe sighed; not that he cared, but he wasn’t about to have Ben snap on their mission.   
  
“Kriff,” Poe muttered as he saw the dead, bisected corpse of some sort of serpent lying on the ground. “What happened?”  
  
“That foul piece of _vermin,”_ Kylo said. “Got into my tent. I defended myself. Maybe the wildlife will think twice before trying to kill us.”  
  
 _All at once, there’s an “us”,_ Poe thought dazedly. “Ben,” he said, “They’re _wildlife.”_  
  
“Still. Surely they wouldn’t be stupid.”  
  
Poe didn’t know what to think. Yeah, that snake had intended to strike out at Ben and Poe was glad he wasn’t dead or injured. But it wasn’t like Ben to be so cavalier about killing an animal. Unbidden, Poe thought of Ben as a child, beaming as a flock of blue butterflies flew away. _“They were sick but I made them better!”_  
  
What had happened to Ben out there?   
  
“You have a...Bond with Rey,” Poe said. He had to fight down his jealousy; somehow, Rey, who had only known Kylo for a few days or so, had replaced Poe — so not only was Poe tortured, but Kylo had cast him aside like he’d never mattered. What did Rey know about Ben? Did she know his favorite color, his beliefs in the afterlife, his dreams of uprooting the laws of life and death just because he saw a child mourning his mother? Did she _know_ him? She knew nothing about him, and she acted somehow like he was a lost soul that she’d known long ago. And Kylo too...did he know anything about her?  
  
Anything?  
  
Poe continued. “Could you contact her?”  
  
“The Bond’s blocked. Ever since Crait. She didn’t just close the _Falcon_ door on me just as a dramatic exit.” Kylo sighed. “Bonds...they can be broken, temporarily or permanently, by feelings changing or the other dying. I can feel it. It’s...strange...”  
  
“Strange” was an understatement. Kylo actually looked like he was in pain.   
  
Hesitantly, Poe reached out...his fingers brushing Kylo’s shoulder. He was still angry at Ben, and yet it seemed that like in the days before it had all gone wrong, he couldn’t stand to see Ben in pain.   
  
Kylo turned to look at Poe in that moment, and it was there that he seemed to smile if slightly. It was heartening, at least, to see.   
  
“There’s likely an outpost,” Kylo said. “Or a hangar.” A beat. “We’d best head up the path.”  
  
***  
  
It was odd, feeling protected by the same man who had tortured him, who had betrayed him. And yet, even as they fought off new wildlife that seemed to want to challenge them, Poe firing his blaster, Kylo seeming to fell different creatures like it was nothing...Poe couldn’t help but feel safe, protected. Eventually, the creatures were dead, and Kylo sighed. “I suppose they didn’t learn their lesson.”  
  
“It’s not like you to be so bloodthirsty.”  
  
Kylo sighed. “We’re struggling for survival. I doubt that morality really applies here.” He reactivated his lightsaber. “Morality’s typically the first casualty of survival. I should know.”  
  
“It doesn’t have to be.”  
  
Silence.   
  
“What happened to you?” Poe said.   
  
“What do you want to know?” Kylo said. “That I heard the galaxy screaming in my head every night? That my own uncle, who saw the good in my grandfather, decided that I was unworthy of redemption for what I heard in my head?”  
  
Poe froze. “Luke wouldn’t...”  
  
“Do you still think it’s my fault, that Skywalker tried to kill me?”  
  
Now Poe swore it was like Kylo had stabbed him. “I — I’m sorry.” He didn’t know if Kylo was telling the truth; there was something wrong with it. But Ben hadn’t deserved that. “I had no idea.”  
  
“I believe you.” Kylo’s voice was softer now, more subdued.   
  
"Yeah.” Poe was still reeling. “You could have gone to me. I could have helped.”  
  
“You wouldn’t have forgiven me if you knew how I good as killed everyone in that Temple.” Kylo sighed as he spoke. “I didn’t kill them. I wasn’t made for that yet. But I good as did.”  
  
“I would have forgiven you,” Poe said. “Anything and everything." A beat. “You know, no matter how much I want to hate you, I can’t.”  
  
“Even after what I did to you.” A beat. "I should get used to how kind you are. But I can’t. I don’t...”  
  
Poe stepped forward. “I don’t hate you,” he said. _I don’t hate you so much that it hurts to not hate you._  
  
Kylo nodded. “I never hated you,” he said. “Even when I had to...torture you...”  
  
Kylo told him. Poe listened. It flabbergasted him, and yet it made sense. There was no way that Ben could have tortured him willingly. Snoke had set it up. Of course he had.   
  
“So it wasn’t just to get the map,” Poe said. “It was...a test.”  
  
Kylo nodded. “It wasn’t your fault,” he said. “I know you were likely thinking it. It was me. I wasn’t strong enough. I...always knew I was weak." The way he looked, it was like he couldn’t forgive himself. “And everything else I’ve done...you wouldn’t want anything to do with me if you knew everything else I’d done.” A beat. “I took lives. I got ruthless, I got cruel. I killed families, I killed whatever Snoke told me to, and even some on my own.”  
  
“You could stop it.” Poe said.   
  
“You think I can climb back from _this?”_  
  
Poe swallowed. “I came back from being a spice runner,” he said. “You think redemption’s just an exclusive club?”  
  
“I’ve come too far,” Kylo said. “And the galaxy...I promised you long ago that I would find a way to fix it. I promised that I would find a way to uproot life and death.”  
  
“Just so a man like me wouldn’t be unhappy,” Poe said, softly. “Ben...you really think that you’ll find what you’re looking for?”  
  
Kylo swallowed. “I don’t know.”  
  
***  
  
They found the hangar. Found the ships. “I guess,” Poe said, “This is the part where we go separate ways.”  
  
Kylo nodded. “Quite right.” A beat. “I have a feeling that this may be the last time I see you.”  
  
Poe swallowed. “I put your name,” he said, “In the code to call my X-wing back."  
  
Kylo’s eyes widened. "You didn’t — ”  
  
“It felt right,” Poe said. “Where it should be. And maybe you’ll come back home. Where you should be.”  
  
Kylo’s voice was quiet. "I don’t know."  
  
They had to part. Kylo gave him something — a kyber crystal, red, that he had found in a raid on Dantooine. Poe doubted he knew what to think of it. A man who could be cruel and kind in the same breath. “Keep it close,” Kylo said. “That way...you’ll find a way to look back. Remember me.”  
  
Poe gave Kylo his old jacket. It seemed only fair, in the end. They couldn’t say they loved each other. Not yet. But they could hold on to those artifacts, as long as possible.   
  
***  
  
“Did he hurt you?”   
  
That was what the General asked when Poe got back — and Poe couldn’t believe that he was saying this, but Kylo had protected him. Helped him. The General seemed surprised, and Poe supposed he couldn’t say he blamed her. After everything.   
  
“He helped me,” Poe said. “Let me go.” Then, “And he was forced into torturing me.” He didn’t know if he was ready to tell Leia that her own brother apparently betrayed her son. She’d collapse.   
  
“That...” Leia sighed. “I had hoped I was wrong on Crait. That there was a chance my son could be saved. There’s still a flicker of Light in him. There’s still a potential to do good...but I think only he can save himself.”  
  
“I can’t just leave him,” Poe said.   
  
“No,” Leia said. “But...I know that sending Han failed. The girl definitely failed to save him.” A beat. “In the end...sometimes you have to do what’s best for you.”  
  
“I...”  
  
Leia nodded. “I know you love him.”  
  
“With all my heart.” A man who could hurt and heal in the same breath.   
  
“The best we can do is win this war. Avenge Ben.”  
  
Poe nodded. In his pocket, his fingers gently touched the red kyber crystal there. There was a chance that they could save him. A chance they could lose him.   
  
It all started with the last bit of good in him.


End file.
